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There’s nothing like acknowledging a first time and savor its uniqueness. Most often than not, I take for granted a thing or a word that I have seen or heard for the first time. A ‘new experience’, in all the sense of that word, needs to be savored and cherished since it would no longer be a ‘first’ the next time you encounter that experience. It would be a completely new story.

Another shebang.

Another ballpark.

And in circumstances that you’ll keep on encountering that experience, it became ordinary and just a part of the background.

Ignored.

Neglected.

But when it’s suddenly gone, you’ll begin to wonder why. You’ll be literally taken aback of what’s amiss.

Author:  Maia Noval

*Published in True Friends Newsmag (November 2008 issue)

Nanginginig sa takot.  Butil-butil na pawis ang tumatagaktak mula sa noo, nanlalamig sa nerbiyos at nauutal.  Anong nakikita ko?  Sa may bukana ng pintuan, isang matandang babaeng nakaitim ng sumbrero at my hawak na nangingintab na parang palakol. Nakayuko sya’t hindi ko maaninag ang itsura.  “Si… sino ka?”,  pilit kong hinagilap ang aking boses.  Unti-unting tumingala at tumingin sa dako ng aking kinaroroonan.  Nakita ko ang kulubot niyang pisngi.

Ang kulay suka niyang balat at ang inaagnas niyang mukha.  Ngumiti siya sa akin.  Ngiti ng kamatayan.  Lalo akong kinalibutan.  Nanindig ang aking balahibo.  Pinilit kong tumakas.  Kumaripas ako ng takbo hanggang sa hindi na niya ako maabutan. Ngunit mabilis niyang hinaklot ang aking braso.  Sobrang higpit na kahit anong gawin kong pagprotesta ay hindi pa rin ako makawala.  Pinilit kong sumigaw upang humingi ng saklolo pero walang lumabas na boses sa aking bibig.  Inipon ko ang aking lakas, tinibayan ang aking dibdib at buong pwersa kong isinigaw, “Pakawalan mo ako!”  Subalit mistulang walang nakakarinig.  Walang sasaklolo.  Alam kong katapusan ko na.

Kasabay ng pagpatak ng aking luha, ipinikit ko nalang ang aking mata. Mabilis akong nagbalik tanaw sa nakaraan.  Inalala ang mga mahal sa buhay, mga taong naging bahagi ng aking pighati at ligaya.  At kung bibigyan man ako ng pagkakataon ni kamatayan na gumawa ng 3 kahilingan bago ako tulayang maging isang kasaysayan na lamang, hihilingin kong…
1. Bigyan ako ng isang araw na makasama ang aking pamilya.
2. Makita at makausap ang sinumang nasaktan ko o nakapanakit sa akin.
3. Ikasal ako sa dambana.
At sa puntong ito inihanda ko na ang aking sarili mula sa sugo ni kamatayan.  Tanggap ko na ang aking katapusan… Hanggang sa maramdaman kong my malamig na kamay sa aking balikat. Niyuyugyog ako…  “Hey,wake up! You’re having a bad dream! It’s time for work and yet you’re sleeping. Better stand up and start working before I terminate you!”  Habol ang hininga, iminulat ko ang aking mata. Whoa! Anong nakikita ko?  Hindi ko maipinta ang mukha at nanlilisik ang matang nakatunghay sa akin.

Ayyy… ang amo ko pala!  Lagot, parusa na naman ‘to!  Pero salamat, Diyos ko, at buhay pa pala ako.  Happy halloween!

Author:  Amy Gunnacao

*Published in True Friends Newsmag (November 2008 issue)

The loving support of family and friends helped but the ache of loss could not be assuaged. In a birthday party 5 weeks after the burial of one that has been called to heaven, Kongkong (grandpa), my lady boss’ father is still sorrowing over the death of a brother, his best friend for 72 years.

While writers and philosophers have given their best to provide weighty arguments in favor of life after death, they have not succeeded in bringing comfort to the aching, anxious, questioning hearts. What does grieving mean to OFW families whose love ones have died? Just recently a town-mate flew home to arrange the funeral of her husband who died in a painful road accident. A few months ago, an 8 years old child was reunited with her mother after 5 long years of separation only not in a garden of joy but in an ocean of grief…the OFW mom committed suicide. And this year also, a friend working in Singapore lost the last member of her immediate family, her father, leaving her an orphan.

Every 2 long-agonizing years most OFWs take vacation anticipating a happy family reunion. However, deep frustrations and despair arise when the time comes that the people we look forward to be with are no longer available… gone to rest or somewhere not within our reach. The pain of missing or of grieving loved ones isn’t in their absence but it’s when we think of the best times we shared with them.

28 years ago when both of my grandparents died, I thought  all the rest of my world were buried dead with them. But I discovered that their presence never departed me. In my long journey, their love enfolds me as though they stand beside me. With time, their thoughts served as steps, my inspiration, my redeemer when days are dull, difficult, or seemingly dying. Along with them there are beautiful souls whose presence had gone but remain forever as part of my existence. They were the people who gave me greater worth and purpose of living – a life of discovery, of teachings and treasures. Ms. Linda Layosa, a wonderful writer, mentor, and friend, my first believer of the gift of writing, who said: “When you have passion, your pen will be restless ’til inkless, by then still you are not thoughtless”. Elvie Oriente, a soul connection, a sisterhood bond that mutually gave us strength and devotion to family responsibility. Unconditional friendship and more from Suzette Cangayda, a brave cancer patient, blackbelt martial artist who influenced me and others the enthusiasm in sports, making our spirits soar like olympic champions, as twice basketball and volleyball team winners. Bro. Jhun Tindaan, Sis.flor Cristal,Sis. Meling Labo, Sis.Mareng Mea, lovable people who shared to me not just the gift of faith likewise - generosity, humility and servanthood.

Late afternoon one weekend, I was sitting by the window of the First Ferry churning its way from Hong Kong Pier across the Victoria Harbour to Discovery Bay. As towering buildings in Central receded in sight, I pondered that everything in the world around us is subject to decline. Plants wither and die, concrete century-old buildings are gradually being eaten away by the gnawing tooth of time. Daily, our bodies grow old and lose youth and vitality. Everything changes, nothing is permanent, just as time shifts from sunrise to sunset, and we from birth to death.

If things don’t last and life is full of uncertainties, what is left for us? November commemorates All Souls and All Saints Day. We honor our departed families and friends by offering gifts, graveyard visitation or prayers. Within the bounds of our acquaintances, we remember individuals with thankfulness while we think negatively of others whose lives were spent in selfish pursuits. While our minds are flooded with recollection of them, we realize that time will come and each of us will also pass away – be a memory. What would others recall when they think of us? Are we happy and productive? Or physically healthy but spiritually dead?

In between sacrifice and waiting comes the biggest challenge that we OFWs face — time. But we can make this opportunity of time to right our wrong, to honor our family commitments, to dream as if there are no limits, to explore in spite of discouragements, to achieve even when we face many obstacles.

Dr. King said: To die is gain if we live and leave a trail of greatness”. Death is like a thief of the night, we never know when our time is up until it’s over. With good spirit, we can use the moment to live, share, ponder, enjoy God’s Blessings for every 60 seconds we spend is a minute of life gone we can never get back.

Early dawn today, I am mesmerized by an alarming message. It reads, “When I die, I wish marami ang makikipaglibing sa akin…” My thoughts gone wild as the words sink to me wondering if he’s sober, sleepless or undergoing difficult situation contemplating into something uncheerful — like suicide. Knowing him as a kind teacher, a fair businessman, an honest-charitable public servant, a person of great virtues, funeral attendance is out of the question. Unsure what to say I replied ”Make sure you die dignified, otherwise baka pati ako hindi makikipaglibing kung sakaling buhay pa ako…” He texted back, “Additional challenge? Life isn’t fun without them. So far I’m enjoying  the tides and season. Happy All Souls Day Sis!”

Wow! Sounds glorious on November 1st, and oh ya!!! It’s his big day too, so it was a weird birthday wish after all. Well, I sent wishes and prayers before good thoughts, and time passes by. Can’t go back to sleep, so I lit candles for my beloved departed, reminiscing the old times, wondering how they are out there in heaven!

Undeparted souls can email to: libao216@yahoo.com

*Published in True Friends Newsmag (November 2008 issue)

Dear True Friends Family,

As I embrace pains of sacrifice life becomes a familiar DH story. Page exposure gives me freedom and value. No more hiding. Gloom disappears, hopes prevail!

I was a ladden bird, bruised, bleeding, almost broken. Yet with you I regained strength healing my wounded wings able to fly, soar high again. Sense of purpose and belonging, True Friends Newsmag and  The Writers Guild provided me venue where I can share my inner thoughts, develop my gifts, align my values..free, transparent, appreciated, molded, nurtured and victorious…a life of greater worth and meaning.

Thank you everyone for coloring my world so beautifully! To our dear Editor Mr. Tony Bartolome, you fill my cup to the brim not just with herbal coffee but with your flowing pail of joy, kindness, wisdom and inspiration. You are too young to be my father but I want you to be that way mentoring me intellectually and spiritually. All the way from Vancouver, Joy Marqueses never fail to brighten my day, publicly and privately, weeeew! Im so high. Same way with Cathy Montano, Miam Medrano, Cyrel, fellow members of the Guild, writers, bloggers, advisers, benefactors, avid readers. My social horizon expanded from this page to the prison bars, to wider OFW communities, to the cyberweb… from writing to charity and friendship.

Literary souls cheer my spirit, (hi, Chloe and Gabby) and I can’t wait the day till we are personally introduce, Cherry Mon, Ed Roquel, Jojo Sapio, She Tamayo, Ines David. Keep on!

Lastly, I want to thank our Publisher for her generosity and unfading trust providing us a place of expression, a world of passion, of beauty and wonder.

May our Good Lord continue to enrich our life as we share His wisdom and love around us.

Your friend and soulmate,

Annabelle B. Libao

Mga kababayan nandito na naman tayo. Sama-sama nating harapin ang mga problemang dumarating sa atin lalo na sa ating mga mahal sa buhay. At ating pag-usapan ang karamihan ng mga nangyayari sa atin na kadalasan, kung hindi pera ay ang ating mga asawa.

Marami diyan na nananabik sa yakap ni Misis o ni Mister. Kaya ang iba sa ating mga kababayan naghahanap ng substitute para maibsan ang kalungkutan at upang mapunan ang panganga-ilangan ng katawan. Mayroon namang iba diyan na katabi na nga ang kanilang asawa pero hindi pa rin makuntento at ang hanap pa ay ibang papa na magbibigay sa kanya ng pangangailangan lalo na sa pera.

Yung mga iba diyan na ganito ang gawain ‘di ba kayo nakukonsensiya lalo na kung pareho kayong may mga anak. Oo nga at wala dito ang asawa mo at dito mo lang siya kasintahan ngunit ‘di mo ba naaalala ang asawa mo tuwing ibang lalaki o babae ang katabi mo? Alalahanin mo na lang ang mga anak mo na nagmamahal sa iyo. They know that you’re working here for them. Umaasa silang hindi mo ipagpapalit ang tungkulin mo bilang isang ina, sa kanilang pamilya mo. How could you tell them one day na may iba ka nang pamilya; masakit iyan para sa mga bata. Ang mga bata ang unang-unang naapektuhan ng gulo na pinasok mo. Dapat sana bago mo ipinagpalit ang asawa mo ay pinag-isipan mo munang mabuti kung makakabuti ba o hindi ang gagawin mo. Pero kung tawag lang ng laman at kamunduhan iyan kaya ka nakikabit o dahil wala kang katabi, aba, piliin mo naman ang taong kakasamahin mo! Hindi iyong may masisira kang pamilya. Mas lalo na nga kung ikaw ay may asawa na at anak tapos ganon din iyong sasamahan mo eh mahiya ka naman sa sarili mo. ‘Di lang pamilya mo ang sinira mo kundi pati pamilya ng kinakasama mo. Pag ikaw pinagsabihan na kabit di ba nakakahiya or sabihin na kaya mo siya kinasama dahil siya ay may pera o wala kang masandalan. May mukha ka pa kaya na ihaharap sa mga anak mo, o kung dalaga ka mahiya ka naman sa magulang mo. Hindi tayo laging tama sa inaakala. Dahil kung minsan masyado tayo mapangarap o ambisyosa at padalos-dalos sa ginagawa. Hindi na tayo nag-iisip kung ito ba ay tama o mali. Patawarin ka man ng asawa mo sa ginawa mo, may mantsa na rin ang inyong pagsasama. At doon na mawawala ang respeto sa isa’t isa. Baka gayahin ka pa ng anak mo pagdating ng araw, dahil kung ano nakikita ng mga bata sa mga magulang iyon ang ginagaya nila; parents are the first teacher of their kids kaya dapat tayo ang magsilbing magandang simbolo sa kanila, sa halip na maging bad influence sa kanila.

Iyong iba naman diyan na sila pa nga ang kabit, aba, sila pa ang may ganang magtaray at sila pa ang may lakas ng loob na tumawag sa original na asawa at hindi lang iyon, sa madaling araw pa tatawag para awayin iyong original tapos sasabihin ‘di ka na mahal ng iyong asawa, ako na, kasi mas magaling ako sa iyo. Mahiya ka naman sa balat mo you’re not the original spouse so you don’t have the right to act like the original one. Kung baga nakikitikim ka lang o nanghihiram lang kaya dapat manahimik ka. Makosensiya ka naman. We are here to work and not to seduce the partner of others. Ang asawa ng may asawa ay dapat sa kanya lang, not unless they are legally separated or widow.

There’s only one happiness in life.  That is, to love and to be loved.  And not to share with the partner of your neighbor. As written in the bible –- “Thou shall not covet thy neighbor’s wife.”

Author: Ed Roquel, True Friends Newsmag

Reading the story of Angela (Cover Story, skillfully narrated by Amy Gunnacao) reminded me of many distant tales of people I know. One is about my wife’s nephew who is a good and hard-working young man. He worked for 3 years in Saudi Arabia in his teens and after his vacation, for some reason, he could not come back. For several years he couldn’t find the luck to land for another overseas job. And so finally, when the chance came for an opening in Israel 5 years ago, he grabbed it. Before his departure, he brought his young family together with his wife, who is a teacher, to our house for a visit. I asked him why, of all places abroad, he chose to work in Israel – a country always at war. Without any hesitation his reply was short and straightforward, “Uncle, mas mahirap ang giyera sa sikmura dito – gutom!”

I was baffled by his determination to leave knowing that he is fully aware of the dangers that lie ahead in his place of destination and also of the tragic fate that befell his older brother in a not-so-recent past. The brother I am referring to worked in South Korea for 5 straight years without a single chance to go home for a vacation – the reason is because he was an undocumented worker. When he finally came home, in a matter of just few months, he got terribly sick. And so after a long battle with illness that saw his savings all wiped out he succumbed and died of cancer, obviously contracted from the harmful chemicals of the garment factory where he worked without proper protective and safety gears in a remote town in South Korea. He left behind a son and a grieving young wife who endured 5 years dreaming for his return.

I am sure that you have heard similar stories even before you started your own journey. Yet, these sad tales do not deter our spirit from seeking our destiny from all the four corners of the world – all in the name of our dream for a better life for our family and for ourselves.

Our country is at war and fighting a formidable enemy – poverty! And most of us might not know it yet, but as OFWs, we are our country’s Salvation Army. This “war” has no geographical boundaries. It has no visible weapon of destruction, no deafening explosions yet its damage can be heard through the cries of our love ones left behind. This fight is for them and for the sake of our country. The irony though is that while many of our brothers-and-sisters-in-arms, especially those who are ill-equipped to face danger, are dying in the battlefield of survival our “generals” back home are basking with all the luxuries in life. And so stories such as those I mentioned above abound and will always be heard. What hurts me though is the fact that the numbers of these incidents will continuously grow as life gets harder each day in our country, but what pains me more is to know that our “generals” believe that the sad fate of Angela, the dangers faced by my wife’s nephew in Israel, the exploitation of the many undocumented OFWs, and the many more untold tragedies that I’m sure many of you are aware of, are just to them – Casualties Of War. That is probably the reason why they labeled the OFWs  “Bagong Bayani“… for us to bleed in the battlefield while they hide in the comforts of their war rooms!

Author:  Tony Bartolome,  Editor, True Friends Newsmag

Her name is Angela.  A happy and energetic girl at six. People call her “Angel” because of her solemn face with rosy cheeks that make her seem a heaven-sent.  She’s the ideal baby of every couple; an obedient child.  She goes running to Lola after her class at the preparatory school to hear her favorite fairy tales. Her parents left her with her Lola when they work abroad, in preparation for her future.

Years went by, the little cute darling turned into a gorgeous, conservative lady.  She had so many admirers.  With the financial support from her parents, she goes to college at a private school in the city, kilometers away from her Lola.   She rents an apartment to minimize her commuting.  Lack of money was never a problem.  Her friends tell her she’s very fortunate for having parents like hers.  They can give all she wanted.  Yes it is true, she can have all her wishes but there’s something she can’t achieve despite the luxury.  She misses something.  And this is what she hides from her friends. They never knew, she wasn’t really that fortunate.  She rarely saw her parents.  The last time with them was when she was still in high school.  They weren’t present in her graduation from primary and secondary school, wherein she received high honors.  She wasn’t given importance.  This is Angela’s thought whenever she’s alone.  She really longs for her parents’ care and love.  It’s good that she has her loving Lola, who took her parents’ place, acted as her mother and father since childhood.  No doubt she love her Lola so much.  And even in the smallest difficulty she has, her Lola is always there to guide and tell her what to do.

One day, her friends were so worried with the many absences she incurred. Three days stretched to more than a week away from class.  They paid her a visit at her Lola’s place but didn’t find Angela there.  According to her Lola, she left on Sunday but failed to come back home for the week-end to get her allowance.  Lola was terribly worried.  Soon, they decided to look for Angela.

They searched the places that she possibly could have gone to but they found no Angela.  Afternoon, Lola’s losing heart. But there’s one more thing she’s afraid of — Angela’s parents.  What will they do upon knowing that Angela is missing? Ah! she doesn’t really know what to do anymore.  After sometime, a knock on the door startled her.  Instantly, she thought it was Angela. She rushed to the door and opened it immediately.  Her excitement turned into disappointment after seeing the postman, who handed her a letter.  It was from Angela’s parents.  She opened it quickly.  The old woman grew more tense.  This is what she’s been afraid of.  Angela’s parents are coming home for a vacation.  She cried out Angela’s name.  She looked up and uttered a prayer.  Yes, she can’t do anything more but pray.  Lola looked pitiful, seated at  the window, hoping that Angela would come home.

As she was expecting, Angela emerged from the door.  She was taken by surprise.  She doesn’t know what to say, whom to thank but she found herself hugging her granddaughter.  Angela cried.  “Apo…” Lola began, “what is it?  What happened?  Why?”  This time, Angela cried more deafeningly. Her Lola caress her back trying to calm her. After sometime, Angela stopped crying.  Her Lola gave her a glass of water to calm her.  Lola looked at Angela.  She noticed that Angela’s face is etched with pain.  She’s so pale, her face a picture of no hope, her shoulders down and seems to be out her mind.  Her Lola asked Angela again.  And finally, Angela began to relate what happened, “L-Lola, they tried to… to kill me… but I promised them not to report to the authorities… so, they set me free… and alive.”  Her Lola’s confused with Angela’s story.  She asked more questions and Angela made it clearer.  The old woman wanted to report to the police what happened but Angela doesn’t want to bring the incident out.  She just wanted a silent and peaceful living.  Soon, they decided to keep it untold.

It is really good that she has her Lola who comforts her every time she has problems.  She’s grateful to the Lord for having her. Every time she remembers the tragic encounter, her Lola would tell her, “Apo, you’re thinking about it again… don’t let this be your hindrance in achieving any goal you have, leave it that way. Don’t be stuck with the past, I love you and you will never be alone as I am here.”  This is the most inspiring thought of her Lola she’ll never forget.

One morning, she heard murmurs from the sala that woke her up.  Lola called her then, “Angela, come… your Mama and Papa have just arrived.”  There was excitement in Lola’s voice and so in Angela. This is the best news she ever heard. After hearing that, she jumped from bed and run downstairs.  She was so eager to see her parents once more.  And she found herself hugging her parents. There were tears — tears of joy, seeing her parents once more.  They fill every corner of their home with joy and laughter, which wasn’t so years ago. And once more, smile in Angela’s face is evident, a picture of happiness — longed for, for so long.

Weeks passed.  Angela’s parents’ vacation is almost over.  They’re so worried of telling this to their daughter because they know she’d cry again.  As they’re having breakfast one morning, they have decided to inform Angela about the trip.  And as usual, since they arrived, Angela got to the table with a smile on her face for she’s really happy to have them again.  But as they began to speak, Angela threw up.  She hurriedly went to the kitchen.  They were left puzzled and worried about her.  Lola grew worried, because she made a conclusion, and so sure that Angela’s having morning sickness — the result of the bad incident.  They heard a noise from the kitchen.  They found her body lying on the floor.  They immediately brought her to the hospital.  After some diagnosis the doctor inform them that Angela’s pregnant.  They were shocked except for Lola.  And they went rushing to her room.  They found Angela sitting on bed, hopelessly staring outside the window where she witness a scene of a happy family — a couple with their cute little girl.  This is what Angela long most during her childhood that she didn’t experience.

A slap on her face brought her back to the present, she was shocked.  She saw her mother looking at her, like a beast ready to eat its prey.  She was so confused, she didn’t know what the matter was.  “Ma-a.., what is it?”, she asked innocently.  “You’re 1 month pregnant according to the doctor,” her father started.  “How could this be?  Do you already have your boyfriend and had sex with him? Is that what you learned?”  She can’t find a word to utter.  Yet her tears started to flow.  Once again her mother asked her but this time it is more terrifying.  “What happened, Angela?!”  With this, is another slap on her face.  Angela can’t find a word to say.  She doesn’t know how to start because of the scene she’d never expected to happen. This time, the mother had convinced her daughter to speak.  “Ma,” Angela started but there’s still fear in her. “I am a victim of rape, kept for days by men who used me,” she tearfully said.  Her parents were shocked, “I… I tried to escape but I failed.  It’s good I was able to convince them to set me free, alive.  At first I wanted to be dead, yet I think of all of you whom I shall be leaving, I just wanted to see you once more and be with you.”  After hearing her, her Mama and Papa look at each other.  Angela’s right.  “Yes, I always wanted to be at your side since you left me with Lola,” Angela continued, “I envy the other children before, for they enjoy their childhood life with their mothers and fathers beside them. They love them so much. But me? I long for what they have. It’s good I have Lola who’s always with me and took care of me until now.  She’s the only person whom I poured my sentiments with, in all those times..and now you’re leaving me again?  Go on!  Make your life the best with all you have.  I can manage… I did it for years.  I can do it… with Lola.”  The couple were speechless, knowing Angela’s right.  On their way home, his father’s still eager to know who did this to her.  “Angela, who did this to you, do you know them?”, her father asked her. “As I have said, it is no more important.  What is important now is my baby whom I shall be giving birth and take good care of.  I will never make the same mistakes you did… I will love my baby with the best way I can.”  Her father was quite hurt of what he heard from Angela.  It’s true.  They let her live her life alone without them.

Years passed, Angela’s baby’s now a cute little darling like her when she’s just a li’l kid.  She’s happy playing with the other children near them, while her Lolo and Lola are so happy watching her.  “If only Angela’s here, she’d know the feeling of being a mother of an angel, like Angeline.”  It’s Angeline’s Lolo, “Uh! Sure, with this kind of baby she would probably enjoy her life as a parent… if only she didn’t die…” Angeline’s Lola started to cry again after remembering Angela, who died after giving birth with Angeline.  “Stop crying. That’s God’s will, we will all end there.  What we shall do now is to give Angeline, our apo, the best we can do and never leave her as what we’ve done with Angela,” Lolo ended.

Author:   Amy Gunnacao

*Cover story for True Fiends Newsmag (October 2008 issue)

“Abu, bye-bye, kiddo,” I said.  Jus replied, “Abu, bye-bye, mommy.”  It’s our way of ending our conversation, no matter what emotional state we’re in…angry, ecstatic, playful, whiny… abu.  I’m not talking about Aladdin’s thief-monkey-friend Abu nor a name common in Mindanao.  You won’t find its meaning in any English dictionary nor an Etymology book.  It doesn’t belong in any language, save for the language of our hearts — my son’s and mine.  Abu — noun, verb, three words rolled into one; origin: mouth of a babe; dates back thirteen years ago; pronounced as a baby would… a-bu.  You can hear it spoken between parent and child (sometimes), between siblings (rarely), between friends (not always), between lovers (not so often).  Only, it’s uttered in three words.  ABU - generic term: I love you.

Even before Jus learned any word, I always talk to him and often say “I love you.”  It was on one lovely day, when he was one-plus year old, that he responded as he cradled my face between his small hands and cooed, “abu…abu…”  From then on, he’d say ‘abu’ everytime he hears my ‘I love you’.  In time, it was I who gave in to the baby-talk and learned to say ‘abu’.  My little baby taught me the most beautiful word in the world.

For some of us, ‘I love you’ is a foreign statement.  It’s scary to utter it.  Embarrassing, corny, mushy to even speak of.  What do we fear?  Rejection, humiliation, or being misunderstood?  To heck with that!  Open your heart and mind, sweetie.  There are thousands of reasons to say ‘I love you’ to someone, from merely trivial to the most mundane or deepest.  I say ‘I love you’ to you for wiping off the crumbs of chickenjoy on my face; for lending me your toothbrush; for the delayed salary which had finally reached my bank account; for booking my flight; for sending me to and picking me up from the airport; for the warm clothes, chocolate-chip cookies and warm hugs; for simply your presence in my life; for this little corner; for my page on TF newsmag –  where I can reach out and touch a heart…  I say ‘I love you’ when I’m grateful, appreciative, thankful, and joyful for what I have.  If you’re hesitant to say ‘I love you’ to your loved one because you’re afraid someone might overhear it and call you a sentimental fool, just say ‘abu’.  The eavesdroppers will wonder what on earth you’re talking about.  To heaven with ‘em!  Speak up, sweetmeat!  It’s even all right to say, “I love you, big butt.”

Besides Jus, there’s another sweet soul whom I speak ‘abu’ with.  My Abest (which, in my vocabulary, means above the best).  Sometimes we find our best friends in our own blood.  That’s with my cousin Jayz.  He taught me the proper use of ‘heaven’ in a phrase it fits best — “to heaven with ‘em”, instead of the ‘hell’ misfit.  We call each other ‘pangit’ (ugly), which is soothing to our ears.  And there’s now Mr B who’d instinctively know something’s not right with me whenever I missed the “abu” in our conversations.

With mom, daddybear, bigbrobear, broAbear, and the rest of the family bears, I use the generic ‘I love you’.  Distance brought us closer to the things we wanted to say.  It’s through the wires that we’re finally bridging gaps.

Jus’ “Abu, good night, inang,” and Jayz’s “Abu, good night, pangit,” are messages of warmth and ‘hugs’ that put me on a sound slumber at night.

Abu, keep a joyful heart…

Author:  Joy Marqueses,  TF Newsmag

*published in The Filipino Now International Magazine (March 2007 issue; p.13)

**reprinted in True Friends Newsmag (October 2008 issue)

Nang maramdaman ko ang iyong pagpintig,
Napuno ng sigla ang aking daigdig
Ipinangako sa sarili na sa iyo iaalay,
Lahat ng makakaya, kahit ang aking buhay.

Habang ikaw nga ay nasa aking sinapupunan,
Bawat paggalaw mo’y sadyang hinihintay
Kaligayahan ang hatid sa puso’t isipan
Ang ngiti sa labi ko ay hindi napaparam

Ang iyong pagsilang ay pinananabikan
Hindi ko mahintay na ikaw ay mahawakan
At nang makita ka wala akong masambit
Isa kang munting anghel na kaloob ng langit

Dumaloy sa mata ko luha ng kaligayahan
Habang yakap kita sa aking kandungan
Ika’y ligaya ko at inspirasyon sa buhay
Tanging ang maghihiwalay sa atin ay ang kamatayan

Binantayan ko ang iyong paglaki
Wala akong hinangad, kundi iyong ikabubuti
Lahat ng hirap ko at mga pighati
Ay naiibsang lahat, kapag ikaw ay ngumiti

Iniwan nga kita noong ika’y musmos pa
Walang katiyakan kung muling magkikita
Ngunit sa puso ko’y laging andito ka
Hindi ka nawala sa aking alaala

Anak ikaw ang buhay ko at wala ng iba
Lagi kong dalangin na muli kang makasama
Muling maramdaman yakap mo sa twina,
Ang makapiling ka, tunay na ligaya.

Author:  Zyrel,  TWG

As our country celebrates October as the National Children’s Month, I can’t help but wonder what future our country holds for our children. The organizers of this annual observance has in mind the noble intention of raising awareness on the welfare of our country’s youth – which has steadily and alarmingly becoming more delinquent according to some NGO’s such as the Catholic Bishops Conference of the Philippines.

This is a serious matter especially sa ating mga OFWs because one key reason they cited as the cause of this problem is due to the large number of OFW-parents being away from their children — thus weakening the values of our youth. Dito sa Hong Kong, pamilyar na sa ating mga manggagawa ang makarinig ng mga masasaklap na k’wento gaya ng ‘di pagtatapos ng pinapag-aral na anak, teen-pregnancies, pagkalulong sa drugs at mga anak na ‘di makuhang magpahalaga sa hirap ng magulang na OFW. Another ominous problem that I see is, sa sobrang subsob natin sa pagkayod para sa kanilang ikabubuhay, we forget to ask ourselves: How big is this social problem? Saan kaya ito hahantong? For now, I don’t think we have immediate and specific answers except to be on guard — each family on its own!

I have few unsolicited tips that may somehow be useful to worried parents out there. I have lived similar uncertainties in the past but was rather fortunate to be able to sustain my eldest to become a practicing medical doctor today and so with my youngest who is graduating in college this year. Allow me to share some of my secrets in sustaining the enthusiasm in their pursuit for premium education.

When my eldest was in her elementary years, I brainwashed her that she would become a doctor when she grew up. I have no stable job at that time but my commitment to that brainwashing turned out to be as strong as hers which means I have to work extra harder para hindi ako mapahiya sa aking anak. Kaya, my advice to our parent-readers is to start early sa pagpa-plano ng career ng kanilang anak because it will not only make them more determined, but this commitment will also give you that extra strength to work harder.

Continuously improve your skills so that your kids will not belittle you when they get more education and become smarter. ‘Pag tawag mo, ‘di ka makakantiyawan ‘pag tungkol sa new gadgets ang nababanggit nila tulad ng mga types of computer games na “in” or mga “hot” topics nila. One way is to upgrade or educate yourself sa computer technology, because you can find almost everything they are crazy about in the internet. That way, you can still give them some sort of advice as to what is best for them, knowing what kind of games and stuff they are up to. This process will not only prepare your children towards a brighter future but will also equip you with the competitive skills when you finally rejoin your family. We should maintain a mas-informed, mas-smart image to our children to keep winning their respect.

Maintain constant but quality communication with your family. Tawag ka nga ng tawag puro away at sermon naman! When I say quality communication, I mean you must feel that your mind and your kids’ mind are one and online on the things I mentioned above. Talk BIG things and they will aspire for greatness.

Of course there are many more but lastly and most importantly, pray a lot! There are thousands of unforeseen events that could derail our dreams for our kids. Our country as a whole is now faced with a disintegrating moral values on a daily basis. Morally offensive materials abound in our local movies, TV shows, newsprints and the Board of Censors seems to be helpless or useless. Our noon-time shows are filled with indecent and sexually-charged contents, and most celebrities are not of help by leading lives that are not conducive to our traditional values, the same could be said to many of our local and national leaders. Consider Malacanang’s recent appointment of Gov. Chavit Singson as Deputy for National Security Adviser. It is common knowledge that Gov. Singson’s political history in Ilocos Sur is marred with violence as he vied for political supremacy against his cousins. His national prominence came about from his role in ousting the then Pres. Joseph Estrada. All peace-loving Filipinos know that his “role” is not borne out of patriotism but rather to protect his own life. And now, the government “rewarded” the Governor from Ilocos Sur, whose history of violence is a common knowledge, to be an adviser for our country’s national security. Unbelievable!

And so to my fellow parent-OFWs, we are faced with a seemingly insurmountable task of not only ensuring that we can afford our children’s tuition fees but must carry on the extra burden of constantly reminding our kids that decency in government exist in other countries and many of our political celebrities should not be their “role-models”. Given these scenarios, the more reason we should be vigilant and resolved to guide our children and let us not surrender “our innocent sheep to the folds of the hungry wolves in our land”.

Author:  Tony Bartolome,  Editor,  True Friends Newsmag

*Published in True Friends Newsmag (October 2008 issue)